I voted that it's never ok, but what I wanted to say was that it's never ok when it's the parent's angry reaction. I was spanked as a child by both my parents. It didn't really hurt me. With my mom, spanking was her reaction to whatever behavior made her angry. My siblings and I used to run from her as she is physically challenged. When she finally caught us, she was more angry. She wasn't abusive. We never had bruises or anything. But it wasn't a well thought out consequence. It was just her reacting. I don't think we ever learned much from it.

I only got one spanking from my Dad when I was five. I was acting up in church and had to go sit in the car. When we got home, there was a long talk and then "I'm going to have to give you a spanking and it will hurt me more than it hurts you." Yikes. I didn't act up in church again. Dad's way was more effective.

All that being said, I would not spank my kids. A. and I have had conversations about this. I tell him adults have to use self control too. That's why it's so important he learn self control now, so he can use it throughout his life.