This is a hard time of year for many people. I have a difficult time with winter, not just the holidays. Lack of sunlight, I think. (Aus, would you tell me again where you get the artificial light you use at your house?) There is a name for it...SAD, seasonal affective disorder. I suffered from it terribly last year, so I definitely identify with the melancholy of winter.

I am sorry for your family estrangement. We grow up being sold on the holidays as prime family time, and when it doesn't happen, we think something is wrong. Sometimes we have to make our own families.

None of us on this Board have typical fairy tale families. Even if we did, I don't think we would match the Hallmark commercials.

I am sure you know that exercise has proven almost as beneficial as antidepressants. Could you get in a walk somehow? I am not at all opposed to the judicious use of antidepressants. Perhaps a visit to your doctor might help you over the hump. If you don't want to go the pharmaceutical route, investigate the use of St. John's Wort. Studies in Europe show it to be as effective as prescription antidepressants. There are some contraindicators, so research it for yourself. I like drweil.com for legitimate ,alternative medical advice.

Finally, I find this tme of year to be especially stressful for women, as the bulk of the holiday "stuff" usually falls to us. With a husband and kids to take care of, don't forget to make time for yourself.

Hugs,
GM