I've battled depression throughout various times in my life. And yes, the Winter is usually a more difficult time of the year. In fact, for years, I did not participate in any holiday events at all. I simply shipped M off to his father's family for four days or so, and he was able to enjoy himself immensely, without being burdened with my crap. To date, friends are shocked to hear that I have been XMAS shopping. And it's still hard for me, but I can force it for the sake of the boys.

I still remember hiding out for days at a time around Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, etc. Avoiding phone calls, staying in the house for days. When I met my B/F four years ago, he told me it was ridiculous and I began spending some time with his family. It was still hard, but it got me out of the house.

We're actually going to the Christmas tree farm to cut our tree tomorrow morning. The boys are both so excited. Last year was the first year I put up a tree, and asked M if he were OK with staying home with me. He wanted to be with me, despite acknowledging that he felt his father was probably going to provide "better" gifts. So, we went to the Christmas tree farm last year, for the first time ever, and those pictures are the first ones C ever saw of us. Since he came home in June, my boy with no concept of time, seasons, etc, has asked when it would be time to get our tree.

Read an interesting article earlier that said despite there being a surge in depression during the Winter months, there is a peak in actual suicide rates during the Spring. The explanation was that most people, no matter how unhappy they are, lack the energy to go through with any plans of suicide during the Winter months.

Mocha