YAY!!!!!!!!!! That's not terribly far away. I know you must be thrilled!!

We have the control battles, too. And the "it's my turn." I handle that one with "this is NOT a democracy," or my latest favorite: "who's paying the mortgage here?"

As for the performance thing, after she gets settled and seems relatively comfortable she may start performing in front of you. K did that with me and now we have somewhat regular musical performances, complete with microphone and stage (which is usually the coffee table). You might mention that you overheard her (as if you were very close to her room at the time) and she sings well, that you wish she'd sing for you. That might work. For K, it's more of a "I need your full attention" issue than anything. She enjoys singing and wants to be a "star" so I tell her it's good practice. But if she's performing and my eyes are not GLUED to her, she'll stop and point out that I'm not paying attention. Pretty comical.

The way you phrase things does make all the difference sometimes and I struggle with that myself. It's a lot of work trying to formulate the right thing to say at the right moment and not go stark-raving mad. One thing K said to me early on was that she didn't know all the rules [of her new home]. I'd kept that part very simple at first but told her a few more and asked her to help come up with a few of her own. Since your K has been in RT for a while she might be used to more written daily routines. You could post that kind of stuff near her star chart and she'd have one central location to go to.

Star chart worked great for K in the beginning. I kept behaviors separate from household responsibilities, though. I figured making her bed didn't need to be in the same category as being more truthful. We're almost to the point of allowance and/or special chores for $$. If she wants money for something, I'll tell her she can work for it. Or if I want her to do something specific I'll tell her the job pays such-and-such if she's interested. I don't do much of that, though. Most of her responsibilities are just part of being in the family.

Sounds like you've got a good handle on everything, though.