Well, I'm actually going to have to turn the placement down after all. It really looked like a perfect match. . .until I talked with the foster mom yesterday. According to the foster mom, A. is "violent" and "aggressive" with other children, specifically younger children. She then went on to describe specific behaviors. This child does not have high functioning autism as I was led to believe, but has full-blown classic autism along with severe abuse and attachment issues and is an extremely difficult child. According to foster mom, A. was kicked out of her first foster home because she was hurting all the smaller children. Okay, I have a 3 1/2 year old boy with cerebral palsy. He is only 25 pounds at this point and, although he walks, he can be thrown off balance very easily. A., on the other hand, is a year older and big for her age.

I talked with A.'s case worker today (my worker encouraged me to do that before I turned her down completely). Here are worker's words: "Well, I don't know if I would use the word violent, but she does hit, kick, and push other children who get too close to her. Actually, I visited A. yesterday and she started kicking the 3 year old boy in the foster home because he tried to give her a hug." HELLO!!! I have a three year old, one who is much tinier than that child. Anyway, I now can't even believe they tried to match us up. I MIGHT have considered her if I didn't have a small child already in the home and if I planned on never having any other children, but I can't risk G.'s safety by bringing an older aggressive child into the home.

Okay, please tell me I made the right decision. I feel so mean and cruel right now, but I really believe that I did the right thing. I have to protect the child that I already made a commitment too.

Actually, I think I've now decided to go the fost-adopt route instead of straight adoption. I'd really like to get a young child (baby or toddler) and, according to the case workers, you have a much better chance of that with fost adopt. Well, we'll see. I'll keep you updated.

Leah
. . .Habakkuk 3: 17-18. . .

Though the fig tree may not blossum, nor fruit be on the vines; though the labor of the olive may fail, and the fields produce no food; though the flock may be cut off from the fold, and there be no herd in the stalls-yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation.