I am definitely feeling peace about the decision I've made. I'm a little sad because I had already begun to think of her as my child. However, I know I could not have given her what she really needed. I am praying that she is able to find a family that will really be able to help her.

I'm still going to get my foster license (evidently in Arizona, it's not that big of a deal when you already have an adoption license), but I have made an inquiry on a little girl who showed up on the photolistings yesterday. She actually sounds like she would be a great fit for our family and would really do well with us. Actually, I read her profile to my mom and sister (they know what happened with A.) and they both thought that this little girl is supposed to be in my family.

Actually, my mom and I were talking about some of the different children and their different needs. She pointed out that my strength is really with kids who have developmental disabilities. I work part-time as a speech therapist, so that is where I'm most comfortable. She said that even when I adopted G. as a single mother that she had no doubt that I would be a great mother for him. She said that she actually did have reservations about A. because of the abuse history. Again, this really comes down to my strengths and weaknesses as a parent. I'm great at teaching young children with disabilities, but I'm not sure I would be so great at dealing with violent behaviors and severe attachment issues. I'm also very small (5'1, 90 pounds), so that might be an issue later. My mom really thought (and I agree) that I am probably most capable when parenting children with developmental disabilties versus emotional disabilities if that makes sense. Later on, I may develop those skills, but right now, I'm a very inexperienced parent. I just adopted my first child last November.

Anyway, this little girl (I'll post her listing, but here is the summary) is 22 months and has been with the same foster family since birth. She is about 9-10 months developmentally. She crawls, sits, pulls to stand, and babbles. She is on a feeding tube, but is beginning to eat some foods. She responds to her name by smiling when it is someone she knows. They actually are seeking families that have children who are similar in age or development because she learns well from imitating other children. She is 22 months younger than G. (he'll be 4 in November) and is able a year behind him developmentally. Actually, she is just about the developmental stage that G. was at when I got him. Now, he is walking, running, eating with a spoon, following 2-step directions, and using about 50 words spontaneously.

She has got to be one of the cutest little girls I have ever seen. Here is her link:

www.adoptuskids.org/child...1&id=26376

Leah
. . .Habakkuk 3: 17-18. . .

Though the fig tree may not blossum, nor fruit be on the vines; though the labor of the olive may fail, and the fields produce no food; though the flock may be cut off from the fold, and there be no herd in the stalls-yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation.