And, I agree with Lav about proceeding with caution in this case.

I don't know that any of us here would recommend an open adoption where neglect, abuse, etc., have been involved. We have a 'semi-open' arrangement with one of our kids. His birth mom can send letters to him at a PO Box (in his pre-adoptive name). We send her very brief updates twice a year. To date, she has yet to write an appropriate letter. We don't intend for him to even see the letters until he's *much* older.