Kids usually need mom or dad for stamps. If you don't think writing is appropriate at all, then don't allow it, except as an exercise in venting. Make it clear to the children that the letter will not be mailed.

Make sure the school enrollment forms have the bios down as people who are not allowed to pick or visit your children. If you think the bios are dangerous, talk to administration. If your child is old enough to go to a school with a resource officer (code for school cop), talk to him or her. Show pictures if you have any.


Realistically, with younger children, there won't be much problem. Their avenues of contact are pretty limited.

If your child is old enough to make phone calls, and has phone numbers of bios, you will have to monitor the calls made from your house. If you have children who have first visited you, then bios, there is always the risk that the kids have let slip names, addresses, phone numbers. We took that chance with our sib group. Even though all their visits with their bio dad were monitored by their therapist, they certainly let our names be known. We have a fictitious phone listing, so we weren't worried about that. And in our case, bio dad isn't dangerous...just incompetent and brain damaged from drug abuse. He is no threat.

With our other kids, their bios are many counties away, and we wouldn't know how to contact them, nor they us. I believe most of the time it is a non-issue.

Better to be prepared,though, depending on circumstances.