Yeah, two of the most common reasons I've heard people state they went into international adoption was either to avoid the birthparent issue or to avoid the abuse and hurts of domestic kids. Drives me NUTS. We went into international adoption because we felt there was absolutely NO safety net for those children, and domestic kids at least have some safety net in place. We just felt that our abilities were better served to reach out to kids that didn't have that net which our society gives (even when its got problems at least it exists). But, we also expected a LOT of hurting, pain and predation on our children. We have been pleased to see what has NOT been done to our sons, but have also seen some things that were done to them.

I just get very frustrated when people try to hide this aspect of international adoption (won't use IA for your sake, Lav) because its reality. And, the only way to arm families for success is to first arm them with knowledge!!