My husband and I investigated foster/adopting sibling groups between 4-9 about 2 years ago. We got as far as the SW coming to our house to interview us and signing up for the classes.
God is the most important thing to both of us, so church is a big thing in our lives. When the SW came to interview us, she was extremely negative about this, to the point where we backed off. That part of our lives will not change, so if it is not compatable with fostering, we aren't going to be able to foster.
My husband eventually wants to work in some type of ministry, so he is understandably very concerned about the hostility that we sensed from this SW. He is concerned about how much the county would be involved in our lives, particularly about allegations of abuse coming from kids and/or SWs. I don't see quite the risk that he is concerned about, but it is an important concern to him, so I don't want to do anything he is not comfortable with.
We have been discussing adopting again lately, by way of becoming foster parents, and I have tried to talk about looking at toddlers. He is still concerned about, as he puts it, his life being ruined because we get reported for a toddler having one of those big goose eggs they often have when they learn to walk. When I brought up infants, he thought he might be more comfortable doing that. I, personally, would be much more interested in toddlers, where you have a better idea of what you are dealing with developmentally, and just because I like that age better than I do infants.
We are trying to find a middle ground on this, as he would like to investigate international adoption and I just have no interest at all in doing that or private infant adoption. Do you have any thoughts about working with the county, and dealing with potential risk to your family? He is so concerned that something bad is going to happen and somehow his reputation will be ruined and he'll never be able to get a job again. I am not sure where all this is coming from, we don't know anyone who has had this negative type of experience.
I tend to think we could end up being one of the county's better foster homes. We are 27 and 31, very stable, middle class, suburban, experienced with kids, good school district, with an ability to stick with just about anything and be creative in dealing with issues. We have a huge support group of friends and family. I just don't see anything disastrous happening if we do this with the mindset of fostering, and adopt if the situation is right. I don't think I would move forward, though, unless he is not only willing, but optimistic about doing this, it sounds too challenging if you are not on the same page. Any thoughts for us?
God is the most important thing to both of us, so church is a big thing in our lives. When the SW came to interview us, she was extremely negative about this, to the point where we backed off. That part of our lives will not change, so if it is not compatable with fostering, we aren't going to be able to foster.
My husband eventually wants to work in some type of ministry, so he is understandably very concerned about the hostility that we sensed from this SW. He is concerned about how much the county would be involved in our lives, particularly about allegations of abuse coming from kids and/or SWs. I don't see quite the risk that he is concerned about, but it is an important concern to him, so I don't want to do anything he is not comfortable with.
We have been discussing adopting again lately, by way of becoming foster parents, and I have tried to talk about looking at toddlers. He is still concerned about, as he puts it, his life being ruined because we get reported for a toddler having one of those big goose eggs they often have when they learn to walk. When I brought up infants, he thought he might be more comfortable doing that. I, personally, would be much more interested in toddlers, where you have a better idea of what you are dealing with developmentally, and just because I like that age better than I do infants.
We are trying to find a middle ground on this, as he would like to investigate international adoption and I just have no interest at all in doing that or private infant adoption. Do you have any thoughts about working with the county, and dealing with potential risk to your family? He is so concerned that something bad is going to happen and somehow his reputation will be ruined and he'll never be able to get a job again. I am not sure where all this is coming from, we don't know anyone who has had this negative type of experience.
I tend to think we could end up being one of the county's better foster homes. We are 27 and 31, very stable, middle class, suburban, experienced with kids, good school district, with an ability to stick with just about anything and be creative in dealing with issues. We have a huge support group of friends and family. I just don't see anything disastrous happening if we do this with the mindset of fostering, and adopt if the situation is right. I don't think I would move forward, though, unless he is not only willing, but optimistic about doing this, it sounds too challenging if you are not on the same page. Any thoughts for us?
